Marines draw new policy line: ‘We will not separate families’

by Tommy Grant

As the Marine Corps’ recently established coordinator for dual-military married couples gets to work, service officials are getting more explicit about the policy that inspired the new role.

According to a senior Marine Corps manpower leader, a directive from Marine Corps Commandant Gen. Eric Smith now not only prohibits the involuntary separation of spouses by military orders without a general’s approval — it also requires the same steps even if couples are voluntarily requesting different assignments.

Col. Matthew Markham, the Marines’ branch head for Manpower Management Enlisted Assignments, briefed the change to the Pentagon-chartered Defense Advisory Committee on Women in the Services Tuesday.

“It’s the guidance from the commandant that we will not separate families unless those are reviewed and approved by the deputy commandant for Manpower and Reserve Affairs, or Manpower Management director, or Reserve Affairs director, as appropriate,” Markham told the committee, saying the step represented “the most significant change” being applied to the management of the Corps’ dual-military marriages.

The deputy commandant for Manpower and Reserve Affairs is a three-star general position, while the two director positions are held by one-stars.

For couples who request station assignments that are geographically separated, defined by the Marine Corps as more than 50 miles apart, the reviewing general officer will evaluate, and possibly override, their requests.

“We’re not asking that general officer to be a marriage counselor by any means,” Markham said. “But he’s going to take a look at those cases, and especially (evaluate), is their belief that they need to be separated factual, or does it require some type of waiver to allow those individuals to move through their Marine Corps careers while hitting milestones?”

The Marine Corps’ first dual-military monitor, Staff Sgt. Nancy Acuna, assumed her position as a trainee in spring 2024 and began adjudicating cases in April. To date, Markham said, she has assisted with 80 cases and elevated 34 cases to senior leaders to secure a waiver so that dual-military couples can be colocated.

According to data Markham presented, nearly 7,300 Marines are currently married to other Marines. Another 930 are married to members of the Navy, while just over 500 are married to members of other services.

While large bases clustered in places like southern California, North Carolina and Japan make it relatively easier to colocate dual-Marine and Marine-Navy couples, those including a spouse from another service can require more creativity, such as looking for opportunities for the Marine spouse at nearby recruiting or reserve duty stations.

Markham said the monitor can also make use of the 8014 military occupational specialty, an enlisted miscellaneous-requirements assignment that doesn’t require specific training or background.

He also anticipates that coordinating special duty assignment requests may pose future challenges. These high-intensity assignments, which include postings such as drill instructor, embassy security guard and recruiter, can represent a fast-track for promotion and even a preferred or necessary step for enlisted career advancement.

“It’s not good to have two Marines married to each other both on special duty assignments at the same time, because they tend to be taxing, and that’s not necessarily great (for) families with children,” Markham said. “So if we have the opportunity to put one of those Marines in a special duty assignment and hopefully colocate their spouse, that’s typically how we’re addressing this currently. But I think there is a possibility, absolutely, to get to a case where there’s going to have to be a hard decision between a family whether they separate to pursue their career aspirations.”

So far, he said, no case addressed by the monitor has required station separation.

The policy, as committee members pointed out, also makes room for more conscious decision-making between dual-military couples regarding who in the relationship might “sit back and step back” in their career to allow the other spouse to progress.

A coming Marine administrative message, to be released ahead of the high-traffic permanent change of station orders season that begins in the spring, will streamline and clarify policy, Markham said.

In an interview with Marine Corps Times following the meeting, Markham indicated that the new policy directive was part of a “culture shift.” While it’s too early to discern any effect on retention or recruiting, he stressed that the policy will change the perception of what the Marine Corps prioritizes and how decisions are made.

“Now we’re taking into account that these are not just Marines, these are spouses and mothers and fathers,” he said. “We’re finding ways that we can keep the efficacy of our force while maintaining the family dynamic.

“We’re ensuring that there’s human conversations behind it.”

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